Desperate Singles

Oh DEAR GOD no! It's a Wednesday early morning and no one is willing to talk to you. There you are, rotting away with your headphones on doing some menial task that probably monkeys can be trained to do. Wouldn't it be great if somebody would notice your sad existence? Finally there's an app for you!

With this app, you'll see all the desperate single people near you! Our proprietary technology will instantly find the best match for you. You'll be surprised! I was surprised! I mean, I didn't even know we had proprietary technology. I thought this technology stuff was pretty common, you know? What a surprise!

After all this time, someone will finally date you, you might be thinking! Well, don't get ahead of yourself. You are still you after all! But at least someone will notice you. Will it be sempai or will it be... KOUHAI? What is a kouhai? I don't even know. Maybe its some kind of food?

This app features:

- No logins! Wow! Instant access! Just insert the floppy and enter the code! Listen to the modem sounds... oh sorry, I was reminiscing.
- At least one single matched near you, guaranteed!
- Lots of exclamation marks! I'm so excited!
- Tons of ads! Yes! Just what you wanted in an app!
- The ability to exit! But you won't want to!
- Please don't exit
- Don't leave me
- Please I'm desperate